First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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