We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have post one night stand depression
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