I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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