come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
