Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
