her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
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