you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
