That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
