This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
