she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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