so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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