It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
