Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
