I just threw up on my dentist
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize