i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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