Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
