His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
