am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
