And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize