my mouth tastes like poor choices
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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