Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
