So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
