I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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