Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
