Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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