Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
