She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
