I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
