yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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