and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
