Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
