Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
