Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
