My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
