Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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