Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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