does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
