I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
