i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
