Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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