I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize