the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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