I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize