I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
