I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
