Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
