Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
