Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
