Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
