"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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