Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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