what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
