Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
