I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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