I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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