what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
